Okay I know, I know. You’re tired of seeing all these “how to blah blah blah in 2019” articles on all of your feeds every year and I feel you! I’m SO sick of picture-perfect bloggers telling me that a dang face mask and some green tea is gonna wash away all the stress of 2018! At the end of the day, there is no cure-all for all your issues and waiting until the end of the year to make changes won’t work! However, that isn’t to say that all efforts are moot or that you shouldn’t set new goals for yourself. So, to kick off the year, I’ve taken upon myself to cook up some realistic ways to build confidence this year. These are not hacks, nor are they “quick Tips” you can do In one day. For those, Might I suggest a Buzzfeed article?
Okay, Let’s get into this! My confidence has never been where it needs to be, but this last year, it has been at an all-time low. I would say I’ve had about 20 Mental breakdowns these last few months alone, I don’t even want to think about how many in the entire year! This, among many (MANY) other things definitely attributed to breaking down what little confidence I had to begin with. Needless to say, I’ve had a rough year, and I’m in desperate need of a bit of a reboot. This article is as much for me as it is for you.
Getting Your House In Order
So, In this Context “ your house” represents your mental health and basically everything to do with your personal life. I can’t stress enough that your house needs to be dealt with BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE! And that’s not a matter of preference. If you focus anything first, you’ll be taking the “fake it ‘till you make it” route. Which will not work. Trust me, I’ve tried. You need to deal with whatever’s going on mentally so that you can get it off your mind or at least get it under control! You will never feel sexy if you mountain of unpaid debt has rented out a spot in the back of your head! For example, My mountain is being behind on my bills since quitting my job to work for myself. This is something I am making a priority to fix before anything else. Your problem may be something different but your first step is creating an action plan to solve it. Seek out help if you need it such a therapist, financial advisor, or even just a good friend. Only after you’ve dealt with your problem will you begin to feel in control again and rebuild your self-esteem.
Challenge: Create a plan to take on an issue you’re having! You can start small!
Learning to Say No
This Is a big one for me because I’ve always had trouble with it. As a result, I’ve ended up In situations I didn’t want to be in (situationships, free car rides, working for less than my worth) which took a toll on my self-worth. A confident woman does not bend to the will of anyone (no matter how handsome) While you may feel that you’re just a generous person, others are thinking you’re a pushover. You get more respect when you value yourself and your time.
Unfortunately, there is no way to remedy this besides good old fashioned practice. MuchelleB has a great video about setting personal policies for 2019 Which I will Definitely be trying out and I recommend you do the same. Personal policies basically act as a guideline that allows you to protect your time and mental health. They give you an easy out when confronted with something you would prefer not to do. A policy could be not staying out past nine on a weekday or only eating out once a week. People will learn to respect your time, and you will find it easier to turn people down. In doing so, you will feel a boost in confidence knowing that you are in control of your life.
Challenge: say no at least twice a week! Practicing will build up that “no” muscle!
Only Wear What You Love
Not I’m not trying to push my minimalist agenda on you or anything with this one! But think about it. If you could feel good about what you wear every day, Why wouldn’t you? Too often, I feel we fall into the habit of wearing what I like to call “filler Outfits”. These are the outfits you wear when you think “ehh I’m not going anywhere special” or “nobody’s gonna see me today” We save our “good clothes” for special occasions only and are almost never satisfied with our everyday outfits. This is because a lot of the time, the special occasion you’ve been waiting for never comes. Your filler clothes end up being your daily wardrobe Which can take a toll on your confidence. Something I’m practicing this year is throwing out all those tee shirts and sweats that I feel horrible in and replacing them with things I wouldn’t mind running into an old friend in. It may be cliche, but when you look good, you really do feel good!
Now, this isn’t to say you should wear nothing but high heels and button downs. I myself have discovered that I feel the best in comfortable clothes. After all, it is important to be just as comfortable as you are cute! True confidence comes when you can be certain your fit well and look great. When you can’t walk in your shoes, your skirt is too short and your crop top isn’t as flattering as it was easier, you will be uncomfortable and it will show
Challenge: before committing to tossing out clothes that aren’t your absolute fave, try separating unflattering clothes from your closet for a month. Whatever you can live without, toss!
Leave Self Doubt in 2018
Lastly, believe in yourself! Confident women know their worth and will not let anyone knock them down, even themselves! Something that I’ve been doing is reciting positive affirmations every morning before anything else. Above, I’ve Attached a copy of my list, however, I encourage you to Create some of your own that relate specifically to your life! Pinterest has a plethora of affirmations you can adopt into your own list. But whether you speak positively every day or simply check] yourself out the mirror every now and then, know that you are absolutely killing it and doing your best every day, even when you don’t feel it.